Being an introvert has it’s difficulties. When I’m at work I listen to a lot of podcasts. Not only do I have a lot to learn and enjoy from podcasts but I also struggle fitting in.
Sometimes I put on Pandora’s comedy channels. One comedian named Mark Normand spoke to me in his bit called Evil Brain.
“I want you guys to like me but I’m scared of ya. You bum me out but I need your love.”
I’ve always found it difficult to find my niche, to have a crowd I feel I belong to. This identity crisis is likely why I do so well with animals.
I love horses and animals; more than the average person. I would much rather the company of an animal to the company of a person. I watched Animal Planet repeatedly growing up. I had books and books on animals and horses. You can call me obsessed.
I love fitness (when I’m on one of my kicks). I’m not the ideal image of a fitness person. I enjoy studying the biochemistry of things. I enjoy knowing what’s happening to my body inside and out and I’m happy to share it. When I train people I exlpain to them WHY they are doing this and HOW it’s beneficial. You can call me a beast or a fitness freak.
I love to be off of center, a little different. Memorable. I enjoy being a little “wierd” or “odd ”
I love people and feeling included, but I also value my time alone. This is my time to recharge my energy and recenter myself.
I love my friends, my animals, and the animals I care for. I love my family.
I have a lot of love to give.
…but I also need love from time to time.
Too many people and too much stimuli makes my brain go crazy. I feel crowded, nervous, and overwhelmed…like I need air as soon as possible.
I get anxiety being in a crowded public place like a mall or grocery store.
It’s taken me years to get it through my head that a group of people laughing usually isn’t laughing at me.
Through the course of my life I have struggled to figure out what it is that I want because it can be so difficult to be the “oddball.” My mind splits me into different personas where I want to be included and part of the group but the other part wants to do my own thing.
It’s rarely ever the case that I dislike the person/people. Actually I usually care a lot for them. It’s because of this that I get my feelings bruised when they “give up” on me.
Recently there was a post on one of my frequented podcasts about being that strange one in a group. It was very helpful. I know the content to be truthful and it’s something you see and hear all your life but every now and then need that little refresher. It was a welcome one that day because I’ve been feeling a little more down and isolated lately.
If you ever feel different I hope you’ll read or listen to this great post. I hope it gives you the little lift it gave me.
Listen to it here:
Or if you prefer to read the original, you can do that too!