October 1st and a New Beginning

Few people understand what I’ve been struggling with mentally, physically and emotionally in the last few years.  I can’t even try putting it to words.

In three years so much has changed in my life.  Career, friends, I got a horse, my life’s purpose (and the struggle to even know what it is), oh and did I mention I’ve gained over 60 pounds?

“Brush it off,” they say.  “Don’t beat yourself up.”  “Just eat healthy and exercise and you’ll be okay.”  “You have to want it.” “You’re fine the way you are.” “Just put your mind to it.”

Anyone who has gone through this struggle can relate to my lament.  I just want to yell “Shut Up!”  I can’t brush it off, I DO beat myself up, I KNOW what I need to do.  NO I DON’T WANT YOUR ADVICE.  Go AWAY!  Go eat a cupcake or veggie stick I don’t care.

I have been through the weight gain/weight loss cycle several times.  Call me Duncan because I’m a career yo-yo.


The truth is I know what has kept me from achieving my goals.  Where do I start?

  • Depression
  • Bleak outlook for my future (can be included in depression)
  • Biochemical addiction to sugar
  • A destroyed self-confidence
  • Low self-worth
  • Lack of social support
  • Lack of a good accountability partner

Sometime in September I was hit with a great burst of hope and energy.  This energy sparked an idea to help get my life back on track.  I have tried several ideas in the last couple of years and failed so I have been hesitant about speaking freely of this new plan.  After some careful planning I have a good feeling about this and I KNOW I can make it happen.

I’m calling my project THRIVING FOR THIRTY.

I will be thirty in 16 months.  I don’t want to just focus on running myself ragged to lose weight. I want to THRIVE!  Based on my timing I only need to lose 4-4.5 pounds per month in order to achieve my wight goals…very reasonable.

In addition to this I am creating new goals every month and every two weeks.

It’s October 1st, My goals for October:

  • Lose 4.5 pounds
  • Go on a date with Zac
  • See my mom
  • See my grandma
  • Publish 6 posts in my blog (also check out https://thegreenhorseman.com/
  • Track my frivolous spending and rein it in

Weeks 1/2 Goals:

  • 5 days: Eat completely clean/healthy
  • Pilates 4x/week
  • 3x week: 50 Crunches, 50 Jumping Jacks, 50 Squats
  • 1x/week: Horseback Riding

Weeks 3/4 Goals:

  • 5 days: Eat completely clean/healthy
  • Pilates 4x/week
  • 3x week: 25 Burpees, 50 crunches, 50 Pushups
  • 1x/week: Horseback Riding

Gone are the days where I beat myself up for not living up to my former glory.  The reality is that this is now my starting point.  Like it or not I can no longer do a 40 pound pull-up, a 53 pound pistol squat, or a 70 pound Turkish getup.  It doesn’t mean I won’t get back there but it will take time and I have to forgive myself and move on.

So here it goes….I’m thriving for Thirty!

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